The worst mistake I'll ever make —
[Update: self-funded op scheduled for 10 Aug, for considerably less $ than expected. I’ll be okay.]
Last Thursday I was scheduled at the local public hospital to get my prostate removed, as I have prostate cancer. The operation didn’t happen.
In my confused and distressed state that morning, I just got up and ate a piece of toast, without thinking. That broke the 6-hour fasting rule I absolutely had to obey. I had the information, but it just wasn’t in my head that morning.
So when I turned up at the hospital, they turned me away. The risk of regurgitation and subsequent death while under anaesthetic is a liability that the hospital cannot carry. The surgical team had the afternoon off, and I’m back on the waiting list for another eight weeks. I had already been given a priority slot, and I blew it.
But two months is too long because there is evidence that my cancer is on the move.
So I’ll have to either pay $15K to get the operation performed in the private system in about three weeks, or opt for a different treatment altogether (hormone treatment and external beam radiotherapy), which offers a similar probability of survival in my high-risk case.
My biggest mistake was to not explicitly hand over my care that morning to my wife, but that was complicated by difficulties in our relationship that have been exacerbated by the crisis. She is justified in calling the situation a debacle.
I have been beating myself up over this for three days, with little sleep. Writing this post is part of my therapy to resist emotional withdrawal and depression, to stop replaying the mistake in my head, and move forward. My heart is not pounding right now, which is a positive sign.
Several friends have told me that they could have made the same mistake. My friend Matthias told me that in Germany public hospitals induct patients and then fast them before operations for the very reason that too often the same mistake was made. This doesn’t change my situation, but at least it helps me avert feeling like the most stupid person in the world.
I’ll survive for quite a while yet, but the cost of eating one piece of toast two hours too late looms large.
I am especially grateful to my family and friends who, while shaking their heads in stunned disbelief, continue to offer their love and support.
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When the op is next scheduled hand that care over or stay with the friends you mention and give them the responsibility.
Your family & others need you around
& if Gillard gets elected she’ll need you to aid in organising the citizens’ assembly
Posted by Chad 26 July 2010 10:54 am | link
Oh mate! I didn’t know they took that rule so seriously either. I could have definately made the same mistake! Could they not pump your stomach, or let you go do the 2 finger salute? Obviously not. Hard lesson there. Sorry to read this :( I bet it freaks you out. I guess you’re going with the hormone treatment and external beam radiotherapy until your number’s up in 8 weeks?
Posted by Leigh Blackall 27 July 2010 08:54 pm | link
Hi Leigh, thanks so much for your concern for me. I’m okay, will have op privately on 10 Aug at the Epworth. Won’t cost as much as I thought either, presuming that it goes to plan.
Posted by Ron Lubensky 28 July 2010 08:29 am | link
Oh you poor thing!! I’ve done the same thing with medical tests and been sent away (one cup of green tea for goodness sakes!!). My sister—a nurse who also has a chronic illness and has tests and medical procedures weekly—has given me this advice: in the future, lie.
Posted by Margaret 16 August 2010 03:28 pm | link
Thanks Margaret, I’ve had the op now at the Epworth and am recuperating well.
Unfortunately ‘lie’ could lead to ‘die’, as aspiration under general anaesthetic (the op takes over 4 hrs) is dangerous.
My advice now is that if you have a medical procedure, insist that somebody close to you take charge of your care, even if there is difficulty in that. You might think you are coping well, but you’d be mistaken.
Posted by Ron Lubensky 16 August 2010 05:31 pm | link